The Sneaky Addiction that Kills Most Dreams
Many people have one soul-sucking addiction in common.
And, it’s an addiction that often goes unnoticed… meaning most people aren’t consciously aware of it.
This addiction is the underlying reason that aspirations and dreams die before they’ve even gotten off the ground.
So, what we are all so addicted to?
“I am a different person after AYP than I was going in. Seriously. My perspective has softened. My plans have become way more spacious. And my new sense of identity blossoms a little more every day.”
The Addiction…
Certainty!
We all want certainty. We are addicted to wanting to know what will happen next!
And when we don’t have certainty, we prefer not to act. Fear of the unknown ends up winning the game.
On the flipside, when we think we do have certainty about what’s going to happen, it feeds our confidence and courage to step forth.
We spend most of our time making decisions in life based on certainty of outcomes.
The more certain we are of what will result, the more confidently we move ahead. This makes logical sense, right?
“I am a different person after AYP than I was going in. Seriously. My perspective has softened. My plans have become way more spacious. And my new sense of identity blossoms a little more every day.”
BUT it can also…
Kill Your Dreams
Unfortunately, the reason aspirations and dreams are so awesome, powerful and inspiring, is because they take us to new heights, to places we haven’t been before (physically, mentally, emotionally and/or spiritually).
Therefore the process of achieving new goals and living your dreams naturally has a built-in component of uncertainty that you cannot ever avoid.
So many people can’t bear that uncertainty, and so instead they lock-down their goals, their dreams, their hearts… indeed their WHOLE LIVES… like a well-protected fortress. Meaning “stay safe”, and do nothing, because “I can’t get the degree of certainty that I want and I need in order to feel okay”.
By staying safe, away from uncertainty, your dreams suffer as a result. In fact, let’s be honest – many times those dreams just die!
We choose familiarity and “certainty” over possibility.
Is that really living?
The Hilarious Paradox – There is NO Certainty… EVER.
The crazy thing is that we genuinely think that by staying safe in what is familiar to us that we have certainty…
“I won’t go for my goals and dreams, because it’s too uncertain, and just sticking with what I know is much safer, because at least I know what to expect… it’s certain and comfortable.”
But that’s an illusion!
Nothing is certain.
How many times have you heard stories where people say “… and then my life changed in an instant.”
What you believe is certain in your life in this very moment, could all change tomorrow. This statement is not meant to be scare-mongering. It’s simply stating the facts of life.
There are so many factors outside of our control.
What you may often perceive as certainty, is just your mind accepting familiarity and routine, and deducing that you’re safer there than stepping out to act upon your aspirations and dreams.
“Sometimes your only available transportation is a leap of faith” – Margaret Shepard
The 6 Step Program
If this addiction to certainty rings true for you, here are 6 simple steps to condition yourself to act on your goals and dreams, managing any fear of uncertainty…
1. Own it – acknowledge that your addiction to certainty is controlling your decisions.
2. Witness the effects – write a list of all the ways that this addiction to certainty has limited your experience of life and blocked your aspirations/dreams. What have you missed out on?
3. Define an aspiration – write down exactly would you would do right now in your life if you felt more certain about the outcome.
4. Open yourself to possibility – declare that you’re willing to give up the need for certainty about how things will turn out, and when you do so you immediately invite endless possibilities into your life.
5. Take a step forward – take one small action in relation to achieving your aspiration to kick start the process of walking into uncertainty.
6. Acknowledge yourself – notice that despite opening yourself up to possibility and being willing to live with the uncertainty of not knowing what will happen next, you are still in one piece, alive and kicking, and nothing disastrous has happened!
Build Your Muscle
We build our capacity for living with uncertainty like we build a muscle at the gym. It grows over time, and it takes regular practice.
[click_to_tweet tweet=”‘You’ll never know what is possible for yourself, unless you’re willing to see uncertainty for what it really is – the breeding ground of all great possibilities!’ – Bernadette Logue #thedailypositive” quote=”You’ll never know what is possible for yourself, unless you’re willing to see uncertainty for what it really is – the breeding ground of all great possibilities!”]
And, a final word to inspire all your great possibilities and to encourage you to have faith in your capacity to live the life you dream of:
“When you come to the edge of all the light you have, and must take a step into the darkness of the unknown, believe that one of two things will happen. Either there will be something solid for you to stand on or you will be taught how to fly.” – Patrick Overton
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“I am a different person after AYP than I was going in. Seriously. My perspective has softened. My plans have become way more spacious. And my new sense of identity blossoms a little more every day.”