Bernadette Logue - Spiritual Life Coach

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When Someone is Belittling & Condescending

When someone is being belittling, sarcastic or condescending, here are a few tips to help you deal with the situation.

Understand there is one key reason why people behave that way, and use this “go-to” for how you process and respond.

What You Need to Remember When Someone is Belittling

When someone is condescending and tries to belittle you, remember:

  • This says everything about their own challenges and nothing at all about you.
  • There is nothing little about you.
  • Their behavior cannot make you small.
  • You are a mighty oak that is firmly rooted in your own self worth and confidence.
  • At the same time, resist judging them. Their inner challenges, pain and ego have driven them to that point. We all know what it's like to be lost on our journey. Who are we to judge?
  • Resist reacting, and instead set boundaries, step away, retain your personal power.

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4 Responses

  1. Hi B,
    I know this may be obvious to most people but, could you please share a few different examples of being condescending and belittling?
    I find sometimes it can be quite subtle, thus difficult to spot -at least for me- yet I find myself (for example with a particular person I have in mind, and whom I value in various aspects) almost always at some point of our interaction “tempted” to feel smaller. Although I’ve got better at this overtime and am more conscious now about what is going on, I also realise that to “bring myself up again” in the relationship I can lack compassion, and I don’t want this. I want to still be compassionate AND respond in the appropriate way for me.

    1. Hi Giovanna
      Well that kind of behavior can vary greatly in terms of what the person says or does, but sometimes it can be through sarcasm, jokes made your your expense, demeaning comments or put-downs, or anything directed at you that is intentionally to make you feel small, less than or belittled. Condescending behavior and comments can be obvious and blunt or very subtle, where the person elevates themselves in high esteem while diminishing you by comparison. Not sure if this is helpful.
      Perhaps if you email me directly to [email protected] some examples of what you’re encountering and if you’re unsure the intention/meaning and I can help you with some prompts to get clearer.
      With love!

  2. This was such a great video! Do you think putting people down actually makes another person feel better about themselves? Or do you think it’s a very short term fix? Thanks!

    1. Hi Cathy, yes there is a hit of superiority and feeling powerful, which can help to make the ego side of oneself feel beter/strong, but underneath that behavior only cycles the contining inner pain that causes it. The reason one needs to do this to others is the inner pain and unaddressed issues within. The only real lasting solution for peace and happiness is to heal those things, so the hurting others is a temporary reactive way to address that inner pattern/issue. Well spotted! B 🙂

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Bernadette Logue - Spiritual Life Coach

About Bernadette Logue

B is a Spiritual Life Coach, Author and the Founder of Soul Odyssey. With over 12 years of experience working with people both 1:1 and in groups, she helps you to reconnect and align with your soul for a life of purpose, fulfillment and magic.

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