What is more joyous in life than having a dream and knowing it’s possible?
The answer – going for it and making that dream your reality.
I'm going to share with you 5 vital prerequisites to support you to get your dream off the ground.
Do you have a dream? Do you know it’s possible to create/achieve it?
Most people get stopped right here – they don’t seriously entertain living their dream and/or they don’t believe it’s possible. So they pretty much kill their dream before it’s even had a chance to breathe.
1. Allow yourself
Allow yourself to have a dream. Sounds simple right? And it is, but somehow in our modern society many of us have become constrained and suppressed, and focused primarily on working hard, toeing the line, doing what others expect of us, putting ourselves last after everything and everyone else, and making decisions based on fear – so much so that we’ve lost the ability to allow ourselves to follow what our hearts really want.
And here’s a HUGE truth that I've learnt first-hand… what your heart wants is good for you in all respects. Your passions, what inspires you, what lights you up, what rocks your boat, what spins your wheels… those are the things that you need to pay most attention to. When you live from that passion and are driven by your dreams, you thrive, flourish, relax, laugh, smile and contribute. You become the best, most joyful and therefore healthy and happy version of yourself. That is the you that the world needs. That is the you that you need! You have to allow yourself to have what you most need. Self-denial has no place in our emerging world. If you’re going to have a happy and healthy life, and help others along the way, you need to help yourself first because when you thrive, everyone around you thrives.
Everyone has at least one dream, if not many dreams, for what their life can be like. The first step is to ALLOW yourself to release your dream, dig it out of wherever deep inside you it’s been buried. Commit now to being the Director of your own life. Take ownership for all areas of your life. No one else can stop you, only you can let others and circumstances block you from being who you are and doing what you love.
We (my husband and I) had the dream to live on Waiheke Island (a beautiful place in New Zealand) and we did it. We dreamed of a journey through Thailand and we did it. We dreamed of a nomadic adventure to Hawaii and it happened. We dreamed of getting married in a tropical location and we did it. We dreamed of doing our first triathlon/duathlon and we did it. We dreamed of sharing our life changing adventures to inspire and support others, and we did it. Those things all started with one defining moment, a moment of allowing. In a single moment of declaring a dream and acknowledging it’s possible, everything changes.
If you give your dream air time and energy, it can grow.
You don’t need to know HOW it’s possible, you just have to believe it is. Every time we’ve created a big dream, we’ve literally never known exactly HOW that dream would be possible. Like how the heck we’d go to Thailand to live for 3 months when we had commitments in New Zealand (job! dog-child, mortgage). Or like how on earth we’d afford to go to Hawaii for 3 months with a new businesses and a mortgage. Or like how we’d write and publish books when we had absolutely zero experience or knowledge to do so!
But you don’t need to know HOW, in order for the dream to take flight.
You simply have to trust… which leads on to Prerequisite 2.
2. Trust yourself
When you have a dream, there are always plenty of reasons to say no to yourself. You could come up with a million reasons why you shouldn’t, won’t or can’t follow your dream. But, if you trust yourself, you can make it happen. What do we mean by trust yourself?
Well, dreams aren’t random thoughts plucked from nowhere. They are unique to you. They are emotionally charged, heartfelt, passionate endeavors that come from somewhere within you. Which is the exact point of #2, you have to trust that feeling you get when your dream moves you and motivates you. Trust your gut instinct, intuition, your heart – no matter how radical your dream might seem.
Many of us have become way too obsessed with our minds and we let our minds drive all our decisions. Our intuition is a very real 6th sense, equally if not more powerful than the mind. Our intuition tells us what direction is healthy and happiest for us to move in, and then we can use our minds as a brilliant tool to navigate in that direction. Over analysis causes paralysis and the mind has a great way of reasoning, rationalizing, blocking and destroying dreams.
Definitely use your mind, just don’t let your mind use you.
So, what do you instinctively feel is right for you? Trust and respect your inner knowing. Love yourself enough to take that feeling and hold onto it, protect it, let it guide you forward. Don’t disregard what drives you inside, don’t disregard who you know you really are and what you really want to do. That inner motivator for your dream is a very real part of the true you, it needs you to honor it and bring it into life. Don’t tell yourself you’re not good enough or you don’t deserve it or it’s not a priority. And most definitely do not tell yourself it’s not possible.
Follow your inner compass!
3. Get clear on WHAT
What exactly is your dream? If you have undefined desires, how can those desires come to fruition? Getting clear on what your dream specifically is, is critical to creating it. That’s a no brainer!
Spend 10 minutes sitting quietly with yourself with pen and paper to write down anything that comes into your mind when you say:
- “What do I dream of?”
- “If I was being who I really am and doing what I really love, what would my life look like?”
Let me ask you:
- What lifestyle inspires you?
- What contribution do you want to make?
- What hobbies, passions, job, business inspires you to express yourself?
- Where do you want to live?
- How do you want to live?
- What environments do you thrive most in?
- What do you want to create?
4. Get clear on WHY
You have to have a big why. Your why is your motivator. In short, why do you want what you want? Why do you want that particular dream? Your “why” is what drives you, it will be what keeps you committed to taking action to create your dream, and it's the energy that makes it happen. If your “why” is big enough you can create almost anything! Some people never quit, that’s because their “why” is really big and really juicy.
Write down why you want what you want. Never stop at the first answer that arises from your mind. Dig deeper to get the answer from your soul, from deep inside. It’s rarely about things, money, external circumstance. It’s usually always about the experience and the feeling you will get from having/living that experience. It’s the intangible inner state of happiness that really drives so many of us.
No external thing or place can ever make you happy. Happiness is an inner state that goes where you go, or not. You can thrive wherever you go in life, whatever you are doing – but not because of WHERE/WHAT but because of WHO you are being. Make choices about what you do and where you go that support you being who you really are, and naturally accentuate the true you.
For all our dreams, our “why” is always backed by our belief that if you’re not living a life you know you love, a dream you know you want, that you know is possible – then you’re robbing from yourself the opportunity and you’re robbing the world of having you contribute fully. The world needs all of us to be showing up fully – to be who we are and to do what we love.
If none of that sparks a why that is big enough for you, then check out what a nurse reported as the 5 most common regrets of people on their deathbeds, as reported by the Guardian in the UK. Take a moment to think seriously how this makes you feel…
- I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself not what others expected of me
- I wish I hadn’t worked so hard
- I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings
- I wish I’d stayed in touch with my friends more
- I wish I’d let myself be happier
Enough said, so on that note let’s move on to #5.
5. Be aware of what stops you
If you've now stepped up and acknowledged your dream and you know it’s possible, you’ve allowed and trusted yourself, and defined your what and why, you may still fall victim to the biggest trap that keeps most people stuck.
You get stopped by your mind.
The human mind is incredibly capable of coming up with all the reasons why something can’t work, might not work, could go wrong, all the possible obstacles, all the cons, and this all happens with very little effort on your part. The human mind is also more than capable of coming up with all the exact opposite scenarios, pros, how and why something can and will work, but we’re just not conditioned to go into the possibility and positivity space without a little retraining and effort.
#5 is all about being aware of how your own mind might be stopping you. If you need to, you can actually write down all the negative stuff that your mind comes up with to stop you. Get it all out. Better out than in! None of what comes up will stop you, unless you choose to let it.
But at first you have to witness that it’s your own blocks that keep you stuck – your own reasoning, rationale, fears, worries, concerns, rehearsal for disaster, pessimism, and so on.
If you have a solid why that motivates you, your mind-made blocks won’t stand a chance. Your motivators and heartfelt passion will override those fears.
Simply be aware of your mind blocks, without having answers, without knowing how to resolve any of it.
Know it’s possible
We’ve applied this 5 step “allow, trust, what, why and awareness” process for getting goals and dreams off the ground in all areas of our life – from health and fitness to lifestyle, relationships, career and business. We’ve applied the same questions and tests each time. It works!
It’s easy to become lost in the notion that a dream is something that we aspire to but isn’t real. The very word ‘dream’ conjures up a sense of something out of reach.
The truth is that….
Dreams exist to be made manifest.
Your dream needs you. It needs you in order to spark into life and become real.
Don’t rob your dream of that opportunity. Don’t rob the world of your expression. All your dream needs is for you to know it’s possible and step outside of your questions, fears and concerns to give the dream a chance to sprout.
With love, Bernadette
I really think #1 (allowing myself) was my biggest obstacle in the past. I think it’s everyone’s biggest obstacle. I hear so many people say that they “can’t” or it’s “too hard” or “it wouldn’t work.” My response is: “With that attitude, it’s not going to happen.” You have to believe in yourself. I love this article. Thanks!
Love your attitude Keri! Allowing yourself is certainly a true act of self-belief. Thank you for sharing 🙂
Bernadette, I just discovered your blog, and I love your fresh, inspirational, and very actionable tips! For me ‘What’ and ‘Why’ are HUGE. A clear motive behind every dream is key, and what’s most important is that it aligns well with your inner values and principles. It all comes down to integrity I believe and I’ve found out that I am able to really manifest any dream using this core principle – integrity. You can’t really apply it if you don’t honestly ask yourself those two questions – ‘What’ and ‘Why’?
Hi, great to connect, thanks for the feedback, neat to have you here at Pinch Me Living! Totally agree with you that our dreams have leverage and can fly when they are backed by alignment with our inner values.
Your post got me thinking about integrity with goals/dreams. I’m a huge believer in energy being the core of how our world functions, and everything we believe, think, feel and do in the world is an energetic impulse/expression of our integrity or otherwise. And, if you’re goals/dreams aren’t a true alignment with your values, and with your highest and best interests, that energetic disconnect interrupts manifestation – aka you don’t get what you want if it’s a hollow goal/dream driven by inauthentic, superficial desires… or in some cases you do get what you want but it ends up coming wrapped up with some life lessons!
That’s me thinking out loud on the topic… thanks for your comments, they sparked ideas around integrity.
Sounds good. Great to connect. Will check it out for sure! B 🙂
Foreseeing is believing. I agree that we need to allow ourselves to have a dream and never settle for less. We can manifest our destinies by conditioning our belief systems towards positive enthusiastic thinking and welcome blessings and stay on the upward spiral towards our ulitmate desired destinations. (Dreams Come True)
Beautiful Trevor! Yes!! Have a wonderful day. B 🙂
Hi Bernadette! Thank you for the encouragement. Your blog reignites my desire to pursue my dream of becoming a flight attendant again. I experienced being rejected four times and the last time was the hardest and most painful one. I lost my hope and confidence to try applying again but when I read your blog, I was encouraged and it made me want to try again when an opportunity comes along. Thank you so much!
Awesome Melissa! Sending you best wishes and lots of positive energy for your dream! GO YOU!! B 🙂