What are the recurring patterns or themes in your life that aren't working for you? What challenges keep playing like a broken record in your life?
The access to living your fullest life, reaching your potential, aligning to your soul purpose (indeed hearing your soul purpose calling you and acting upon it!) requires you to free yourself of baggage that doesn't serve you.
This baggage we speak of is also known as your limiting beliefs. You have beliefs, negative and positive, and the negative/limiting beliefs are a contradiction to your soul purpose, a contradiction to the pure wonder that you are.
When we are born, our soul comes into this life with lessons to learn, with challenges to overcome. For each of us it is different. For some it will be disability or health. For some it will be relationships or money. For others it will be emotions that restrict us such as fear or anger, hurt or sadness… the list is endless. You come with your own unique things to learn, that’s what makes each of us so different, facing such different experiences of life with our individual perceptions. There is no way to reason with our intellect how one person can be born with such affluent and seemingly perfect life circumstances and why the next person can be born with such poor and desolate life circumstances. After all, from a ‘Law of Attraction' perspective, how on earth does a little baby choose to attract negative events and happenings into its very early life circumstances?
One perspective is that a soul is born into life by choosing the circumstances that will most effectively aid it’s expansion, learning and expression. Each life will be different, until a soul has encountered all it needs to.
Setting aside the reason your soul came into this life in the first place, once you are here, you accumulate beliefs. Over your childhood and adult years you have countless experiences, you hear countless things from all whom you encounter and you assimilate all of this information to define your beliefs about yourself and about life. Each time something happens, you add to or create another belief. These beliefs then become the tinted glasses through which you see the world. This is why each of us has different beliefs, different opinions, different perspectives on ourselves, life and how the world works. We have formed beliefs based on what we know to be true in our own lives.
For example, let's say hypothetically that you have a bad relationship. Your companion leaves and says, “I don’t love you anymore”. You have another bad relationship. Your companion leaves you and says, “I don’t love you anymore”. You then start to believe that you are not loved and that you are not loveable, and you believe that as soon as anyone does love you it will only be temporary because at some point they will decide they don’t love you anymore and then they will leave, just like all the other times. This is a limiting/negative belief that will not serve you well in future and will quietly sabotage you. The present is never defined by the past, unless we allow it to be.
In order for your soul to expand and grow in your lifetime, and for you to reach for the stars and achieve whatever it is that you desire for yourself in this life, you must free yourself of limiting/negative beliefs that hold you locked into the patterns in your life which don’t work for you. See what doesn't work for you, and consciously choose to change beliefs to ones that will serve you, uplift you and allow you to flourish in this life.
For example, if you desire a loving relationship, yet your experience in the past has not been that, and you now hold a strong belief that you are not going to have a loving relationship, then you must identify and clear that negative belief in order to allow in the loving relationship you desire. The world mirrors your beliefs, thoughts and feelings, your reality creates around you in response to these inputs. Therefore your beliefs must align to what you desire, and not just on a conscious level alone. It is not always as easy as simply affirming to yourself that you are loveable if you have a deep belief that you are not.
So then, you might ask, “How do I find these negative beliefs that block me and are holding me back? I don’t know what they are”.
Here is the good news. Limiting/negative beliefs that are deeply held and are major blocks in our life, will usually play out in a theme. Whilst held deeply within you, they create a pattern in your life where if you review your past experiences you may see recurring behaviours/circumstances which point you to your limiting beliefs.
If you look back at your life you may see some areas of your life that work really well and other areas that don’t work so well. It might be career, it might be relationships, it might be love, it might be money, it might be health. Consider – what in my life hasn’t been working well? Then recall all those instances of it ‘not working well’ and look at what happened – write down what you believe about yourself and those situations. Do this for each and every instance of life ‘not working well’. If you do this very honestly, and you may do this alone or with some help from someone you trust, you may start to see a pattern/trend occurring. The pattern/trend is the pointer to your beliefs.
Carefully consider this – if it’s your beliefs (and flow on thoughts/feelings) that create your outcomes, then the patterns of things ‘not working well’ in your life are simply the results (the footprints) that come from your beliefs. If you use the recurring patterns in your life to work backwards to dig down to find the limiting beliefs, you then have access to change those beliefs and of course then create new results!
And… the interesting thing about life is that when you realise your life challenges are actually part of the reason you're here (your soul purpose to experience and overcome) then those challenges look more purposeful and intriguing. It can even be exciting to face those challenges and conquer them. Sweet good things lie on the other side of those challenges. From the greatest challenges (and breakdowns) come our greatest breakthroughs.
With love, Bernadette
B, this article seems to have come at the exact time I needed it! I was analyzing my situation and was seeing patterns, and since the past week, have been consciously trying to avoid getting back in to that mode. I tell myself, that the pattern is old now and boring, and now that I know it, its value is over and a new experience is needed. Since this Thursday, I have been feeling greater peace and strength. Of course, the old fear raises its head, but I just firmly tell myself that the pattern is not needed anymore and at the same time, just allow it to go away without me putting up a lot of resistance. Does that make sense to you? Anyway, I feel more trusting towards the Universe and am sure my Higher Self, which has never let me down, will get me through my multiple “crisis-es”. Your article has crystallized what I was thinking these past few days. Thanks.
Niri, everything you are saying makes complete sense to me, I know where you are at and I am so pleased to hear that you are mastering that inner peace and inner strength to say “No” to those old stories and patterns that you can see no longer serve you. That is just awesome! It’s a moment by moment choice, and each moment when we say “No” to those old patterns, we create more and more space for our new ways of being (our real selves) to emerge.
It’s lovely to be keeping in touch with you here in our forum comments.
Have a lovely weekend
Thanks for the response, B! You guys have a lovely weekend, too!
I was reviewing my life’s patterns over a 30 year span and noticed that I have a recurring challenge where career and money is concerned….I have always held good position but then conflicts arise and I move on and usually end up with financial crisis.
What is especially interesting is that the crisis periods have always been concentrated in two months – July and August. Why is this?
Hi Gap, interesting about the timing. Not sure why that is. Great to be aware of it for yourself, and you could look at those situations if they arise now or in future and consider what there might be to learn from them, what beliefs you might have that could be blocking you from dealing the situations in the best way for yourself, and how you may be able to break that conflict/crisis pattern if it emerges again. Very best wishes, Bernadette
Thank you very much. I will continue to reflect on this bearing in mind your suggestion.
Very best wishes
The article doesn’t offer any help on how to actually get rid of the limiting beliefs. I have already done the soul searching work and found many limiting beliefs, and like you mentioned, affirmations aren’t the answer for deeply rooted beliefs. So, WHAT is??
Hey Connie, yes this article is about using patterns/themes/footprints to identify limiting beliefs, so as you’ve already done that, it’s not the right resource for you 🙂 For the practical process of changing beliefs once you already know what they are, I always recommend a twofold approach to people based on the professional help I provide. Other professionals may well use different techniques, and there are many ways to go about it. In my view, all have their merits. I recommend EFT tapping combined with mind mastery processes. I run my “Master Your Mind” training twice a year for this, where we go through 6 steps over 6 weeks for shifting limiting beliefs and showing people tools to manage their mindset in daily life (tools for life!). If you want something you can do self-guided without a program, I’d suggest starting with EFT tapping, a free “how to” guide here on my website – https://www.bernadettelogue.com/eft-tapping/
And if you want to go further, you’re welcome to join me for Master Your Mind coming up soon.
With warmest wishes
At age 5, I was forced to have my tonsils out even though I actually fought both my mother and the nurse in the hospital when I was taken in. From this operation, I got pneumonia and from this epilepsy. Though I got better from epilepsy at age 37 (having stopped the medications some years earlier) this affected my life adversely for a long time. I genuinely wanted to be a doctor but, as I found out later, the medications affected memory and concentration – so, at age 15 (ten years later) I failed chemistry. I did, however, become a professional violinist. The stress of this life due also to the lack of life skills, probably due to being over-protected gave me a breakdown at age 25 (ten years later). Ten years later again, when I was 35, the mother of my first child would not marry me or contact me after he was born. She later told me it was because my mother had told her she must put antipsychotics in my coffee for the rest of my life. Unfortunately, she didn’t tell me this at the time, not until many years later. I married another. Unknown to me again she had unfortunately agreed to put the antipsychotics in my coffee. Five years later she divorced me so that I could not support and protect our three children. She apologised and told me the reason years later again. She said she just could not carry on doing it. (I know I have taken no antipsychotics for sure since 1995. In fact, I solved my own problems – they were practical problems of simple survival which had combined to cause stress and confusion.) When I was 45 (another ten years on) I had a prolapsed disc which affected my health and career for eight years. I have lived happily with my partner now since 1995. She has her own problems but I can understand them. So, every ten years after that first traumatic incident something bad had happened related to medicine! I perceive this was a five-year-old child’s helplessness at being overruled when knowing he was in the right which caused a ‘self-destructive’ rage which somehow got lodged inside. My mother was really a very loving and caring soul but just would not credit my intuition! I am just now trying to understand and overcome this which is why I typed into google “recurring patterns of experience”! It is always good to find someone who understands this phenomenon. Thank you for the article – very good. It may have helped!
Hi Roger, I’m glad this article was useful in some way for you, and it’s good you can look at your life and recurring themes and want to enquire as to what, why and how to move forward without the past. I wish you much peace and happiness on your journey! Blessings, Bernadette