The age old question – why don’t I do what is good for me?
- Why don’t I follow through?
- Why can’t I stick with this and get the result?
- Why do I start and stop?
I used to be confused about this myself too.
Until I realized something that changed everything.
I’ll share that with you in one moment, but first…
What Do YOU Want?
You might want to lose weight, but you don’t know how to follow through with the nutritional changes you need to make.
You might want to pay down your debt, but you don’t know how to follow through with sorting out your financial plan.
You might want to publish a novel you’ve been working on, but you don’t know how to follow through with writing to finish it.
Here’s the bottom line:
- You want the end result
- But… YOU DON’T WANT THE ACTION that takes you there
That’s actually a really big problem!
Because the action comes first, and you don’t want to take it, so you never get the result.
Seems pretty obvious right? And it is.
But if you’re anything like me, and every other person I’ve ever met, here is what your conscious mind says…
I really don’t understand why I can’t just make this happen.
I really want to DO this.
That’s Wrong and That’s the Problem
It’s time to be brutally honest with yourself – you really don’t want DO this (whatever the action is that takes you there).
You really want the END RESULT. But you don’t like having to take the action required to make it happen.
Your mind has a whole story it’s running about the action required.
Check yourself right now…
- Write down the goals you’ve struggled to follow through on (to either get a result, or get and sustain that result)
- Write down the actions needed to achieve those goals
- Now tell me if you feel any type of negative association at all with those actions
- I really want to lose weight, but…
- The action required is to change my eating patterns / nutrition.
- It’s really hard to do that.
- I don’t want to miss out on foods I enjoy eating.
- I feel so good when I eat X foods, I hate going without them.
- I feel deprived.
- It’s never worked before.
- (The actions that help you lose weight have negative associations in your mind)
- I really want to sort out my debt, but…
- The action required is to look at my financial situation in detail and restructure my income and expenditure.
- It’s really hard to do that.
- I feel awful when I look at the reality of my debt. I feel stuck.
- I’m terrible with numbers.
- I have no idea how to follow through and change it.
- I don’t want to budget and miss out on spending on the things I like.
- (The actions that help you sort out your debt have negative associations in your mind)
- I really want to publish my book, but…
- The action required is to write on a regular basis to finish the manuscript.
- I don’t have enough time.
- It’s hard to concentrate.
- I always get distracted.
- I’m afraid what I write won’t be good enough.
- It never feels like the right time.
- (The action that helps you to finish your book have negative associations in your mind)
You really want the result.
BUT You DON’T want the action that takes you there.
Whenever you are not following through, it’s highly likely because your subconscious mind is coded with “I want X, but I don’t want the action that creates it.”
Because the discomfort of the action comes first, and the joy of the result comes second, you don’t follow through.
You’re driven by the immediate issue at hand… the action and the pain/price you THINK you pay by taking that action.
It’s not enough to want something.
You have to also want THE ACTION that takes you to it.
The solution below may seem too simple to be true. But believe me, from first-hand experience, this works…
- Tell your mind you want to take this action.
- Tell your mind you choose this action.
- Tell your mind you LOVE this action.
- “I want to do this. I choose to do this. I LOVE to do this.”
Don’t tell yourself once. Tell yourself every day, in every way possible.
Say it to yourself, dance to music while you sing this to yourself, write it on your bathroom mirror.
Journal it every night. Make it your personal jingle.
Repeat it over and over again, and put some freaking emotion behind it! SAY IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT.
Watch this video to learn…
Video: How to Follow Through – A Powerful Mantra
You want that result? Then train yourself to want the action that creates it.
- I want to eat healthy. I choose to eat healthy. I love choosing healthy food over all others. It makes me feel great. Eating healthy is amazing.
- I want to create my financial plan. I choose to take control of finances. I LOVE sorting out my budget. This is fun!
- I want to write my book. I choose to write on a regular basis. I love sitting down at my writing desk and having ideas flow out.
Notice these mind-training affirmation statements are NOT about the result AT ALL. There is no mention of losing weight or getting rid of debt, or finishing the novel. The statements are positive new associations in your mind for the action that creates the result.
If you train your mind to WANT the action, you will get the result.
Change your story about the action required and you change your life.
I’d love to hear from you!
- What are your goals?
- What actions will take you there?
- What has your mind previously negatively associated with those actions?
- What are you going to recode yourself to want, to choose and to love?
- What did you think of the mantra video?
Scroll down to leave a comment and I’ll reply back as soon as possible.
With love, Bernadette
Hi Hazel, wonderful, so glad it was timely for you!
Thank you B! This is fantastic!
You’re very welcome!! Much love, Bx
Charlotte here from your MYM course… I have been stuck in a black hole since week 2 of MYM afraid of facing my goals and my demons… but once again you have inspired me with your Daily Positive to pick myself up and reach for my best possible me!!! Thank you ?? I look forward to restarting MYM from the beginning this time with proper intention!!!
Hey Charlotte, so glad this message was helpful, and yes…. dive in with me for MYM and just reach out anytime in the course discussion forum in the Members Area, I’ll be here to guide you if you get stuck. Big love!! Bx
Greetings! I’ve lost 60 pounds partly through your Master Your Mind program and this video adds another valuable tool to my toolkit. Eternally grateful.
That’s amazing Suzette!! How awesome. So inspiring. Thank you for sharing this with me. Big love to you! Bx
“B”, thank you for today’s message! I am usually a very goal oriented individual who achieves success in what I decide to take on. I find in the current uncertain climate with the pandemic and political unrest and politics infecting every aspect of life, I have become completely apathetic about life. Your message today was my wake up call! I thank you.
So glad this was a timely message for you, sending big love!! Bx
I unpacked my goal according to your 4 very good questions and I think it was helpful to me to crystallize actions needed. But I have 5 other goals, I and I feel overwhelmed to tackle all of them at the same time (total of 6 Goals). I brought this up before in MYM class. Thanks
Hi Sid, yes trying to tackle 6 goals all at once is probably not as effective as picking a few to start with as the highest priority, and staggering goals so that you have one or two that you focus on as the main priority, and then bringing in other goals step by step. I cover this in more detail in the course “Your Best Year Yet”. If you’re in EvolveHQ you have access to that course inside the membership, otherwise you can get that course on its own. The key is that you’re able to integrate the goal actions into your daily life so you can systematically work your way effectively toward it while balancing that with every day life activities and responsibilities. If you try to do too many goals you simply don’t have enough time, energy etc to effectively do it all, and that’s when things become too overwhelming, balls get dropped so to speak and people end up in these situations giving up thinking it’s too hard. The issue isn’t the goals or actions, it’s the execution. Simplicity is often better. Some people are capable of juggling lots of goals at once, other people aren’t. You have to work out what is your ideal flow and what suits your lifestyle and personality, and how you best achieve results, then work to that flow. If you want more detail on the goal setting/action planning workshop mentioned here let me know. You’ll find a link with more info below: